It was a devastating loss, but she didn't feel that it was appropriate to express sadness, anger or fear, because she wanted to practice the Buddhist teachings on non-attachment, which she interpreted to mean that she shouldn't grieve. At 67 years old, she has no money, no assets, and nowhere to go, and moved in to a small apartment in the city with her sister. But after Carl's death, due to legal issues with his adult children from a previous marriage, Melissa lost the property. Melissa's life revolved around the house, the gardens and the land. The couple lived for 30 years in a beautiful house they'd designed and built on 10 country acres that they'd landscaped and developed together. Melissa and Carl were part of a Buddhist sangha in a rural community for several years. Eventually the grandmother did allow Lorrainna to see a therapist, but hid this fact from her religious community. She was sent to live with her grandmother, who belonged to a Jehovah’s Witness sect that ignores sexual abuse claims by relying on the requirement in Deuteronomy 19:15 that there must be at least two witnesses in order to convict someone of a crime.Įven though Lorrainna was in the foster care system and her case was managed by a social worker, the grandmother was conflicted about taking Lorrainna to therapy because the elders in her church saw it as disobedience to the law that required witnesses to the abuse. LorrainnaĪt age 11 Lorrainna was removed from her family home after being repeatedly raped by her stepfather. When a job would be lost, or a relationship ended, Gerald could not process the loss without feeling that the loss was a punishment from God. Throughout his adult life he felt that God was punishing him for every “bad thought” he’d have, and for his “sinful behaviors.” He has struggled to establish a functional life for himself, but has been unable establish a fulfilling career or a stable intimate relationship. Gerald was able to escape the church as a young adult, but at age 50, he still struggles with guilt and images of God as a punishing parent. Demonic possession was the reason for any behavior that did not conform with the community’s rigid expectations. When Gerald got older and it was discovered that he was gay, the community attributed it to demonic possession, and multiple exorcisms were performed. Gerald’s younger sister was sexually abused by their grandfather and also by other male church members, as were other girls in the community, including Gerald’s mother. He now considers that community to be a religious cult. He recalls listening to sermons in church and lectures from his family about demons and burning for eternity. Gerald was home-schooled, and for as long as he can recall, he was taught that only the people within his insulated religious community were saved, and everybody outside was going to hell, unless they could be converted. Even Christian music and religious television programming was forbidden. He was not allowed to socialize outside the church community, nor did he have access to radio, television or secular reading material. Gerald was raised in a Pentecostal church in a small southern town. How the religious trauma and negative religious coping is informedīy the ways in which people interpret their inherited or chosen theologies. These examples illustrate how toxic theology can express itself in people's lives.īut more importantly perhaps is that these stories show
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